Sunday, July 15, 2007

Mother of the Year...

(Preface- this story seemed much more dramatic before hearing of my friend's 4 year old son's fall out of his 2nd story bedroom window... all because he didn't want to take his afternoon nap. Read the praises of his injury-free, post-fall status HERE)


As I was saying... Mother of the Year- an award I WILL NOT be receiving any time soon. Why???

This sincere story of the
poorest parenting ever began Thursday at 6am. K-girl woke up with a belly ache. No big deal right?? I issue the customary, "Come here honey... I'll give your belly a rub. I'm sure you just need some more sleep." response (I'm so lazy huh? I make the toddler with a belly ache come to me so I can kiss her and shoo her back to bed. NICE. ) Well, it didn't take but a second of her tears to alert me to impending, albeit imminent, expulsion... I heard belly gurgles... and without thinking...(obviously- because who would do what I did had they THOUGHT it through??) I cupped my hands together and put them out to .... catch .....her.... HURL. Eewwwwwww!


And hurl she did. Twice.

Then she seemed well. So I established her residence on the "sick couch" with towels, blankets, and a bowl... and put on something from On Demand Kids. I settled onto the big couch and nodded off to sleep.

Big girl was up right at 7 to hurl again... and I figured we were in for a LONG day of mouth wiping and bowl washing.

But she slept. Until 10am. And she woke up energetic. And hungry.

(Here's where I start on my rapid decline into poor parenting...)

We were scheduled to leave for Idlewild park at 10:30 that morning... I had accepted the fact that Kylee was sick and that we would be staying home while Paul and the boys all went. Paul however had not accepted that. And based on her 10am energy levels... I can see why. She was running and laughing... asking for food etc.

And then it happened. The boys told her about the theme/water park and she wanted to go... BAD! Paul wanted her to go because his dad was meeting us there and we rarely see him. And I did what no mother should ever do- I agreed to ASK my daughter what she wanted to do. Parenting mistake #1- I let the three year old decide (with a theme park luring her).

We weren't in the car 20 minutes before she started saying "I'm freezing". This is my second major parenting mistake. (Thanks Laura for pointing this out :) Kylee said this phrase SEVERAL times that morning. In the car, in the theme park, etc. She wouldn't play, walk or ride rides. She wanted carried... and she wanted to repeat , OFTEN... I'm freezing.

Finally, around 2 we sat down for lunch and Paul handed Kylee to me. She immediately laid her head on my shoulder to which I think she honestly BURNED me. She clearly had one heck of a fever (and chills) hence her term, "I'm freezing". Not being a prepared mother, (parenting mistake #3) I had to take her to first aide to have her temped and treated. Thankfully they were unable to make me feel worse about myself than I already did.... :) Even though she was near 104 degrees. OUCH!!!

(Up to now I'm sure all you moms out there are thinking... ahhh well, this is just one of those times where you really couldn't have known... it's not nearly as bad as you're making it seem. You did the best you could under the circumstances.... lets see how you feel about me as the hours pass)

I tell Paul about Kylee's fever and her tylenol schedule. We eat lunch and she starts feeling better. She has energy etc because her fever breaks. I tell him, she'll need tylenol again within 4-6 hours. We need to be out of this park by 6:20pm to be sure we're home to give her meds. Mistake #4- I don't have car keys to follow-up on this mandate.

It is 7:45 and husband is Ho-Humming MEAN MOMMY. He is the 8th dwarf. I know he sees me as the Party Pooper. The "Not closing down the park, making us leave while the rides are still open, boring ole, yelling at everyone to get to the car- MEAN MOMMY."

I've already failed however, why not have EVERYONE mad at me right? The daughter's fever is creeping back up... the boys are mad they couldn't ride the caterpillar again, and Paul... well, he's like having three sons when it comes to leaving an amusement park without security ushering us to the gate. EVERYONE is frowning at this point.

We get Kylee Tylenol- head home. To which we don't walk in our front door till after 11pm. Nice. (Apparently the "short cut" now adds an hour to the drive home... ugh)

We dosed K-girl again throughout the night.

I wasn't there when she got up (What mistake # am I on... 5? 6?? Whatever!) but I called Paul around 9 to see how she was. "No fever" he said. Phew! I thought to myself. We dodged a bullet on that one. Could have really been something. (Famous last words.)

I get home around 2pm to find she is a limp noodle, laying around on the couch... catching cat naps. WHY???? That is not her usual demeanor.

I feel her head and again, I am scalded. She does too have a fever!!! I think to myself... "Did he actually TOUCH his daughter today? Or did he just ask her if she had a fever because if memory serves... trusting the 3 year old to be honest regarding her health... well, it hasn't worked for us."

I give her tylenol and wonder what could be bothering her??? Why is she hot as a lava rock?? BUT I don't call a doctor. (Poll- AM I AN IDIOT????) Not sure why I don't call a doctor by this point but I don't. I can't see any other symptoms... just a little nausea from the day before and a fever. Must be a virus huh???

K-girl hangs out most of the day UNTIL dinner is placed ont he table at 6pm. SIX- the EXACT time the doctors' office closes. (Mistake #22- not putting dinner on the table sooner so I would have had an opportunity to get her in to see a Dr. when she made me aware of her inability to SWALLOW!!!!!)

And so- a phone call to the Dr. revealed my 47th mistake- and K-girl's need to wait till morning to be seen by the on call Dr. I called TOOOOOO late.

And so- 2 days after this illness began plaguing my daughter, and our family, OR should I say two days after this illness started making a FOOL OF ME- I gather my precious little ill child to take her to the Dr. when she tells me that her TONGUE hurts. (Is that possible?)

Sidenote- do you feel like this is that NBC show medical mysteries?? That I am divulging this illness in steps and you have options of guessing which illness it could be???? That's how I felt THE ENTIRE way through.. and sadly it wasn't until this moment in the process that I pegged this little bugger.

Ahhh welll, I didn't need the Dr. at this point but I was on my way none the less.... (Hey, at least I didn't get there still completely stupid regarding big girl's health.)

I became aware of my NON VICTORY in the MOTHER OF THE YEAR contest when her STREP test came back POSITIVE in 46 seconds... (vs. the customary 5 minutes) EXCELLENT.

Her extremely gracious Dr. uttered these words to me, "I'm glad you were so attentive and proactive to bring her in with these symptoms. Most parents would miss this diagnosis as Strep is rarely transmitted in the summer."

I didn't tell him ANY of what I just told you all... IF he only knew. :)

And so- big girl is now on the most wretched tasting antibiotic called Cephalex? (And yes, I know what it tastes like because before I give her any medication I taste it to give me some indication as to whether I'll need a face shield to deflect her rejected liquids.)

KEY THINGS I'VE LEARNED THROUGHOUT THIS DESCENT TO POOR PARENTING...

VOMIT. Who knew throwing up could be an indicator of Strep?

FEVER.
Who knew, "I'm freezing" is toddler code for touch my head? (FINE! You knew it Laura!! You're such a supermom. :)

PAIN.
Who knew, "My tongue hurts" is a valid statement?

STREP. Who knew one could get it in the SUMMER? (My K-girl... OVERACHIEVER!)

STUPIDITY.
Who knew after THREE children I could be so naive as to miss this common childhood illness???? SHEESH!

MOTHER OF THE YEAR!
Who knew I didn't have a snowballs chance in ... alright fine, you all knew I couldn't win that one. :)

On a quite serious note... I really want to THANK GOD for the health, safety and well being of ALL our children. For Pam's son B, and our K-girl... and each and every one of your children. We couldn't be more grateful for Your hand upon them all, Lord. (Especially when I'm clearly ill-equipped to provide for and protect them. :)

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