My day started yesterday morning at 3. Oh yes- I said it. THREE! I awoke with the goal of securing a Nintendo Wii for our family Christmas present. I had hoped it would be a simple process as I was made aware, secretly, by a department manager at Kmart that they would have a limited supply available. I figured were I to go very early.... I would be guaranteed to go home with one.
Sidenote- a few things you should know about this decision to get a Wii... I don't want it, don't care about it and probably won't play it- my husband does want it, does care about it and probably won't stop playing it (same for my children) and I only pursue it because it's near impossible to get the week before Christmas and I am all about the thrill of the chase.
That being said- I turned my alarm off and fought all self-preservation which whispered, "Sleep stupid... it's 3am!" I got up and headed out to Kmart. I arrived to just 4 people in line ahead of me. Confident of the fact that I would be getting a Wii I settled into my place there. (Did I mention that one of the people was SLEEPING on a towel on the ground? ) Anyhoo- we talked for about an hour when an employee hung a sign on the door that read, "We only have 4 Wiis today." WHAT????? 4! You have 4? I am person number 5!!! Is it possible to be a major retailer and only have 4 Wiis on a Sunday morning? UGGGGHHHHH!
So I left there and decided to head to Best Buy in the hopes that a large electronics store would have... uhhhh... ELECTRONICS! I pulled up and asked at the curb to the many in line if anyone knew how many Wiis Best Buy had. They said I would get one if I got in line. So- in line I got. Knowing that in less than an hour... I would be supermom/wife!!
And then someone broke the news to me. Kmart may open at 6am but Best Buy... it doesn't open till 8am. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! It was 4 something in the morning...33 degrees outside... dark... freezing... and unlike the people that pitched their tent on the sidewalk at midnight - I just brought my check card. And now I had to wait in line for 4 hours... NOT two? Hey- as long as it doesn't rain.... I can do four hours... right? But- if a rain drop so much as touches the ungroomed uni brow that I currently have going- I'm outta here!
Not that you couldn't have guessed this- but 30 minutes later... rain. And I don't mean rain... I mean floods. Soaking wet rain. To which many people grumbled- yet stood their ground. I couldn't believe people were staying. Clearly they wanted this much more than I did. But I settled in... curled in a ball, along the wall, as I was being poured upon... and all I could think was WHY??? Why am I doing all of this? I couldn't think of another person that would do what I was doing for a game system. (Well, my mom would have if I wanted one of these growing up... I do believe this is how I got my Cabbage Patch Doll... THANKS MOM!!! ) Which got me to wondering why, I... and several hundred other people... were sacrificing many of our personal conveniences for the sake of an electronic gadget.
And I came up with this...
1. It was fairly easy making an emotional decision to go and do this... a choice that I had pumped myself up for... for days in advance... to ensure I would have this gift for Christmas.
2.Relatively speaking... it was really a brief amount of time that I'd be inconvenienced.
3. Misery loves company... we were all in it together.
4.It had been proven before that people who stood in line received what they wanted by a person of authority at Best Buy.
5. I am sure to have what I want at an appointed time (previously determined by them/ not me.) so I just have to count down the minutes.
6.. Ultimately- knowing the joy that will overcome my husband and children serves as motivation as I know I too will share in their joy when they receive their gift.
Do you see what I am getting at? As I was sitting there... I realized almost immediately that I was doing something for the sake of a toy... that I am almost always unwilling to do in regards to spending time with/seeking the Lord!!
1.Because going before the Lord consistently isn't an emotional choice. It's a steadfast one that rarely comes with bells, whistles and/or adrenaline.
2.Because I tend to crack at the first sign of inconvenience. Namely fatigue and or busyness.
3.Because unlike the multitudes of people that stand alongside me in a Best Buy line... I tend to go before the Lord alone which can be lonely... lacks accountability and therefore gives me an easy out when distracted.
4.Because unlike the guarantee I have at Best Buy- there's no guarantee when going before the Lord that He will do for me what I want Him to do.
5.Because unlike the set in stone time that Best Buy offers me... sometimes I have to wait and wait, and wait in the Lord... and well, who wants to do that?
6.And because for the most part... there is no external motivation for going before the Lord. It's Him and me... and if being honest, at times... that's, no He's, not enough!
The revelation that I sometimes do other things with more passion, steadfastness, and/or excitement than I approach the Lord is humbling. The revelation that I trust more in the 18 year old Best Buy employee to do as He should than I do in the Lord to do what is best for me... sobering. My unwillingness to press into Him despite fatigue, inconvenience, uncertainty of the outcome... nauseating! But I hope that my new found awareness of this will help me to choose Him first, often, and with expectancy. I love Him and only hope my actions and the fruit in my life will be evidence of that.
Oh and just so you know... there's only 7 more days to get a Wii....and I hear they're calling for SNOW! :)