Love Lets The Other Win
Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Philippians 2.4
If you were asked to name three areas where you and your spouse disagree, you'd likely be able to do it without thinking very hard. You might even be able to produce a top ten list if given a few more minutes. And sadly, unless someone at your house starts doing some giving in, these same issues are going to keep popping up between you and your mate.
Unfortunately, stubbornness comes as a standard feature on both husband and wife models. Defending your rights and opinions is a fundamental part of your nature and makeup. It's detrimental though inside a marriage relationship!!
Granted, being stubborn is not always bad. Some things are worth standing up for and protecting. Our priorities, morals, and obedience to God should be guarded with great effort. But too often we debate over piddling things, like the color of wall paint or the choice of restaurants.
Other, more significant issues may not crop up every day but keep resurfacing and don't really go away. You never seem to get closer to resolution or compromise. There's only one way to get beyond stalemates like these- and that's by implementing willingness, the opposite of stubbornness.
Willing- an attitude and spirit of cooperation. One of the best examples of willingness is that of Jesus Christ. Philippians 2 shows the progression of His selfless love- He had the right to be served by all mankind- he chose to serve. He had the right to live in peace and safety but willingly laid down his life for our sins. He loved, cooperated, and was willing to do His Father's will instead of His own.
HAVE THIS ATTITUDE IN YOURSELVES WHICH WAS ALSO IN CHRIST JESUS - Philippians 2.5
The attitude of willingness, flexibility and humble submission... means laying down for the good of others what you have the right to claim for yourself.
All it takes for your present arguments to continue is for both of you to stay entrenched and unbending. But the very moment one of you says, "I'm willing to go your way on this one" the argument will be over. And though the follow through may cost you some pride and discomfort, you have made a loving, lasting investment in your marriage.
Love's best advice comes from the Bible, which says, "The wisdom that is from above is first pure then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield" James 3.17. Are you willing to bend to demonstrate love to your spouse? OR are you refusing to give in because of pride? If it doesn't matter in the long run- especially in eternity= then give up your rights and choose to honor the one you love. It will be both good for you and good for your marriage.
Demonstrate love by willingly choosing to give in to an area of disagreement between you and your spouse. Tell them you are putting their preference first.