Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Love Dare- Day 12!!

Yesterday's Followup: What did you choose to show that you cherish your mate? What did you learn from this experience?

Love Lets The Other Win

Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Philippians 2.4

If you were asked to name three areas where you and your spouse disagree, you'd likely be able to do it without thinking very hard. You might even be able to produce a top ten list if given a few more minutes. And sadly, unless someone at your house starts doing some giving in, these same issues are going to keep popping up between you and your mate.

Unfortunately, stubbornness comes as a standard feature on both husband and wife models. Defending your rights and opinions is a fundamental part of your nature and makeup. It's detrimental though inside a marriage relationship!!

Granted, being stubborn is not always bad. Some things are worth standing up for and protecting. Our priorities, morals, and obedience to God should be guarded with great effort. But too often we debate over piddling things, like the color of wall paint or the choice of restaurants.

Other, more significant issues may not crop up every day but keep resurfacing and don't really go away. You never seem to get closer to resolution or compromise. There's only one way to get beyond stalemates like these- and that's by implementing willingness, the opposite of stubbornness.

Willing- an attitude and spirit of cooperation. One of the best examples of willingness is that of Jesus Christ. Philippians 2 shows the progression of His selfless love- He had the right to be served by all mankind- he chose to serve. He had the right to live in peace and safety but willingly laid down his life for our sins. He loved, cooperated, and was willing to do His Father's will instead of His own.


The attitude of willingness, flexibility and humble submission... means laying down for the good of others what you have the right to claim for yourself.

All it takes for your present arguments to continue is for both of you to stay entrenched and unbending. But the very moment one of you says, "I'm willing to go your way on this one" the argument will be over. And though the follow through may cost you some pride and discomfort, you have made a loving, lasting investment in your marriage.

Love's best advice comes from the Bible, which says, "The wisdom that is from above is first pure then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield" James 3.17. Are you willing to bend to demonstrate love to your spouse? OR are you refusing to give in because of pride? If it doesn't matter in the long run- especially in eternity= then give up your rights and choose to honor the one you love. It will be both good for you and good for your marriage.


Demonstrate love by willingly choosing to give in to an area of disagreement between you and your spouse. Tell them you are putting their preference first.


Mari said...

I have noticed that I am paying more attention to little things I can do for him, that I wouldn't have noticed before. Last night it was just the two of us home for supper and he had started watching some history show. I put our supper on trays and brought his to him, then cleaned things up so he could keep watching his show. He appreciated it.

Denise said...

Today, after lovebug came home and took his shower, I filled up a pan with really warm water, took a washrag and soap, and washed his feet. Then, I emptied the pan, cleaned it, and filled it with warm water and some really nice bath oil. I put his precious feet in the oil, and told him to just relax, and let his feet soak. When the water started turning cold, I changed the water out. After the second soak, I dried his feet, and put lotion on them, as I massaged them. He looked so relaxed, and he said it felt so nice. I really enjoyed pampering him, and he enjoyed the pampering. Prayer: Dear Lord, may I always long for the heart of a servant in my marriage, as well as my life. To serve my husband is a blessing to him, as well as to myself. Thank You for all the times You served us Lord.

Nancy said...

These previous two ladies have sure out done me. I really didn't do anything so special but I do love to leave little notes of love and gratitude where sweetman will find them during the day.

Chelle' said...

I will fess up and say that I didn't do anything for my husband. The day got passed me.

An opportunity presented itself early on... he left both of his cell phones at home and I thought about taking them to his work (40 minutes each way) but by the time our oldest finished school (2pm)... well, it just didn't happen.

The day ended with me telling my husband that I was to do something nice for him and I didn't accomplish it. He told me he wouldn't have wanted me to drive all the way to his work just to bring his phones...

Anyway, I didn't get this one done. I will look to make it up at the next opportunity.

sailorcross said...

I have not left you!! I'm still doing the Love Dare, it's just difficult to put everything into one comment loving all 3 at the same time!

Let's just say that things are going along wonderfully given the circumstances.

And, I have been going through a process of self-examination and I have found myself lacking in so many ways!!