Love Seeks To Understand
How blessed is the man who finds wisdom, and the man who gains understanding. Proverbs 3.13
We enjoy discovering as much as we can about the things we truly care about. If there's a subject that appeals to us, we'll take notice any times it comes up. In face, it's often like an area of personal study.
This is where Love would ask the question, "How much do you know about your mate?"
Before you were married, you studied your mate. His likes, dislikes, habits and hobbies. You admired and built respect for your spouse. But after marriage, those feelings began to fade as reality revealed flaws and imperfections. There are still hidden things to discover about your mate, and this understanding will help draw you closer together.
Do you know his or her greatest hopes and dreams?
Do you fully understand how they prefer to give and receive love?
Do you know what your spouse's greatest fears and why they struggle with them?
Some of the problems you have in relating to your spouse are simply because you don't understand them. They probably react very differently to certain situations than you do, and you can't figure out why.
These differences- even the ones that are relatively insignificant- can be the cause of many fights and conflicts in your marriage. That's because, as the Bible says, we tend to "revile" those things we don't understand. (Jude 10)
If you miss the level of intimacy you once shared with your spouse. one of the best ways to unlock their heart again is by making a commitment to know them. Study them. Read them like a book you're trying to understand.
Ask Questions- The ear of the wise seeks knowledge- Proverbs 18.15 Love takes the initiative to begin conversations.
Listen-Wise men store up knowledge, but with the mouth of the foolish, ruin is at hand. Proverbs 10.14. The goal of understanding is to hear your mate and not tell them what you think.
Ask God for discernment- The Lord gives wisdom, from His mouth come knowledge and understanding. Proverbs 2.6 The Lord will show you what you need in order to know how to love your spouse better.
Desire to know your spouse even better than you do now. Make them your chosen field of study.
Prepare a special dinner at home, just for the two of you. The dinner can be as nice as you prefer. Focus this time on getting to know your spouse better, perhaps in areas you've rarely talked about. Determine to make it an enjoyable evening for you and your mate.