Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Love Dare- Day 18!!

Yesterday' s Followup:How much of an effort is it for you to hold back from saying something, critical or otherwise? What have you learned about your spouse today, simply from listening?

Love Seeks To Understand

How blessed is the man who finds wisdom, and the man who gains understanding. Proverbs 3.13

We enjoy discovering as much as we can about the things we truly care about. If there's a subject that appeals to us, we'll take notice any times it comes up. In face, it's often like an area of personal study.

This is where Love would ask the question, "How much do you know about your mate?"

Before you were married, you studied your mate. His likes, dislikes, habits and hobbies. You admired and built respect for your spouse. But after marriage, those feelings began to fade as reality revealed flaws and imperfections. There are still hidden things to discover about your mate, and this understanding will help draw you closer together.

For example-
Do you know his or her greatest hopes and dreams?
Do you fully understand how they prefer to give and receive love?
Do you know what your spouse's greatest fears and why they struggle with them?

Some of the problems you have in relating to your spouse are simply because you don't understand them. They probably react very differently to certain situations than you do, and you can't figure out why.

These differences- even the ones that are relatively insignificant- can be the cause of many fights and conflicts in your marriage. That's because, as the Bible says, we tend to "revile" those things we don't understand. (Jude 10)

If you miss the level of intimacy you once shared with your spouse. one of the best ways to unlock their heart again is by making a commitment to know them. Study them. Read them like a book you're trying to understand.

Ask Questions- The ear of the wise seeks knowledge- Proverbs 18.15 Love takes the initiative to begin conversations.

Listen-Wise men store up knowledge, but with the mouth of the foolish, ruin is at hand. Proverbs 10.14. The goal of understanding is to hear your mate and not tell them what you think.

Ask God for discernment- The Lord gives wisdom, from His mouth come knowledge and understanding. Proverbs 2.6 The Lord will show you what you need in order to know how to love your spouse better.

Desire to know your spouse even better than you do now. Make them your chosen field of study.

Today's Dare

Prepare a special dinner at home, just for the two of you. The dinner can be as nice as you prefer. Focus this time on getting to know your spouse better, perhaps in areas you've rarely talked about. Determine to make it an enjoyable evening for you and your mate.

9 comments:

Chelle' said...

If you know me at all... you know that I tend to talk long before it seems I think about something.

Last week I spoke with a new friend and in the first 4 minutes she actually said to me, "Filters... clearly you need some filters" As if to say, "Whoa honey- I can't believe you just said that, you should process those words before you expel them." :=)

I have this same issue with my husband I am sure. So- I really have to pull back the reigns to hear what he is saying... whether work related, or sports, or thoughts on the election- I have to be sure to prioritize what he is saying over my responses.

Is anyone else learning a TON from this 40 day Love Dare??

Michele said...

Yes! I'm not doing it but I'm learning a lot form reading the blog. I am going to get the book. I'm considering doing it between me and my 13 year old son. We are going head to head these days.

boutcrazy said...

I think what I've learned the most from these dares is about me. I believe that God is finally answering my prayer that I prayer when doing the Power of a Praying Wife study...

Lord, Give my husband a new wife...and let it be me.

Nancy said...

I'm older and wiser and sweetman & I have both been through one failed marriage, so we are equally careful with our relationship. If anything we have both learned from this is that you have to pick your battles carefully, some are just not that important. What is important is that we share our lives together loving God, each other and our families.

Heather said...

Chelle - I like that "Filters - clearly we need filters". That would equally apply to me.

So busy these days that I am only half thinking through the dares but none the less God is working on my heart.

I love that you and Paul are praying together!

Joanne said...

What in the world are you doing up so late?!?

Denise said...

God is teaching me so much through this challenge.

Rebekah said...

Your new blog header looks great

sailorcross said...

I just finished post Day 17 on "The Power of Your Love". I'm going to wait and do day 18 when all 3 kids are home during Christmas--it just seems better to have all 3 of them at this special dinner.

So, I'll be skipping on to Day 19.

Beth