Monday, December 1, 2008

A Baby Changes Everything...

It's been a rough couple of weeks around the "W" house. I'm sure you've noticed based upon my frequent absences from the Love Dare. I apologize by the way.

A couple weeks ago we found out we were expecting baby number 4! A baby. Due July 24th. It was a surprise to say the least and we had mixed emotions. Our youngest is nearly 5. We have been planning to move. P's company, National City was just bought out by PNC.

Well, a week after we found out, I went in for a generic appointment with generic "baby" labs, only to hear back days later that my numbers were "low". My Dr. wanted to know if there was any chance the baby could have been conceived later than reported. I knew there wasn't. Particularly because I received a positive test fairly early.

They sent out repeat labs. The hope was that the HCG levels would double. The catch was that it would take three days to get the results. And if that wasn't hard enough- I'd have to wait for the results while attending a baby shower for a dear friend.

God was gracious. Over those three days I learned, quickly, how to pray for His will. I really felt like it was the first time that I couldn't pick a way to pray. I couldn't slant my prayers one way or the other. I never would have planned to be pregnant... but I certainly wouldn't wish one away either. I prayed often, "Be it unto me according to YOUR WILL". I suppose I figured... it worked for Mary...

All along, I thought for sure that I would get a phone call confirming that our numbers had doubled and that the baby was fine. I wasn't sure where we would put him/her, or what we would name him/her, or what other people would think about us having another him/her... but I thought for sure we'd have to figure all that out over time.

Unfortunately, it didn't work out that way. We are no longer pregnant. And to my amazement, as the pregnancy was unplanned, my heart hurts.

I heard this song over the weekend... Faith Hill put it out on her Christmas Disc Joy to the World. It's called, "A Baby Changes Everything." I had a word or two with the Lord over the irony of the song in the midst of my situation. But He seemed to settle my heart, calm my hurt, and show me just how much THE baby, 2000 years ago, changed everything. Especially as He granted me the opportunity to receive peace and comfort in the midst of my sadness.

I pray this Christmas, that you too would access the Love, Peace, Joy, and Comfort given you from the Father through a precious baby, born to change everything!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8illRJRmN8

17 comments:

Joanne said...

Chelle,

My heart aches for you and your whole family.

Praying for continued peace and joy amidst the sadness. Praying that God puts friends close and praying I were closer...

bp said...

I am so sorry for your loss. My heart hurts for you at this time. I will remember you in my prayers. I'm going to have to listen to this song as well. God bless you.

Mari said...

Chelle - in the middle of this hard time, you have written such a touching post. Thanks for sharing with us - I'll keep praying.

The Patterson 5 said...

May you feel the warm embrace of God holding you and your family during this time. I am praying for you.

The Patterson 5 said...

Thanks for sharing the song as well. I agree with Mari with all you and your family is going through you are still sharing the love of Jesus that is in your heart with us all! You are a blessing!

Denise said...

Such a precious song, thanks for sharing. I am so sorry for your loss, and your sorrow. You are in my prayers.

sailorcross said...

My heart aches for you, and I thank you for sharing your heart with me.

I'll be back later when I have a little more time. I've prayed for you this morning, and I'll continue to keep you and your family in my prayers.

Beth

Tara said...

I'm really sorry, Chelle'. I've only "technically" had one loss and as you know the circumstances were similar--wasn't expecting the pregnancy and as soon as I knew about it, it was over. Despite still having so much to be thankful for at that time, it still hurt and a loss is a loss. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Mama Abby said...

Love you friend...even in your sadness providing encouragement...i loved listening to the song...such a great find...prayers to you!

Michele said...

I am so sorry Chelle. I was shocked when I read this post but touched by the way you turned it around. Still trusting God. Thank you!

Sarah said...

I am so very sorry for your loss Chelle'. My heart aches for you. Praying for you and the crew!

A Stone Gatherer said...

Chelle, I am so sorry to hear your news! I pray that the Lord continues to strengthen you and hold you closely in his arms!

masterfamily said...

Oh sweet, Chelle. I'm sorry! I have to tell you, I had a gift card for iTunes and downloaded some Christmas music. I checked out Faith's new CD and the only song I picked was that one! God is using it to comfort many in this season and I pray the words will continue to wash over your soul as a healing balm. Love ya

Rachel said...

So Sorry to hear about the loss. Will be praying for you.

Mandy said...

Delurking to say how very sorry I am. Found your blog through Tara's and check in often. I'm always blessed when I stop in and encouraged as I leave! We experienced our first miscarriage this past June...and your blog was actually one of the things that helped me through it. You see, the music playing on your blog is a ministry in and of itself. "Bring the Rain" happened to be the song of choice during one of my visits. I immediately downloaded it to my iPod! It spoke to me instantly, but never more so than when we discovered our unexpected but oh-so-desired fourth miracle was in the arms of Jesus instead of ours. How my heart ached! It still does and will until I have the chance to meet him/her in Heaven. That song has become an anthem for me and I thank the Lord that He used you, a person totally unknown to me, to bring such peace and healing during such an awful time.

I pray the same comfort, peace and healing for you, Chelle.

Sincerely, Mandy.

Elizabeth M Thompson said...

I am so sorry for your loss, Chelle. I know God is comforting you and I hope it helps to know your bloggy friends care. We do!

Colored With Memories said...

Wow, Chelle! I am just catching up. So sorry to hear all of this. I never cease to be amazed about with such grace you face these trials. Your faith is an encouragement to me and many others!