Thursday, January 31, 2008

Parental Responsibility Poll...

Alright moms that read this blog... a few questions for ya- and here are the rules... this is only to find out how responsibilities tend to be divied up in the home. In order to keep it fair... and to compare apples to apples... announce the status of your family before answering the questions. (If any of you want to answer anonymously... have at it... although... do any of our spouses actually READ these things called blogs?)

1. How many parents work?
2. Children's ages.
3. Education of children? (Homeschooled or Public/Private School)


Then answer the questions...
1. Who vacuums?
2. Who cooks?
3. Who dusts?
4. Who bathes the children? (Wouldn't it have been funny if I kept with the theme of 2 words and just asked Who bathes?)
5. Who brushes their teeth?
6. Who reads bedtime stories?
7. Who tucks the children in to bed?
8. Who educates (homeschool) or assists with homework?
9. Who grocery shops?
10. Who retail shops?
11. Who takes the car for oil changes?
12. Who takes the car for inspections?
13. Who takes the car for body work/maintenance?
14. Who does minor home repairs?
15. Oops... almost forgot this one... Who does family laundry?
16. Who mops?
17. Who sweeps?
18. Who makes the bed? (OK, that's actually a joke... I assume NOONE actually makes their beds anymore.)
19. Who scrubs down the tub?
20. Who wipes down the windows?
21. Who drives the children to extra-curricular activities?
22. Who drives the children to mall, movies, etc?
23. Who packs lunches?
24.Who takes to bus stop/school?
25. Who gets children ready for day/school?
26. Number of hours a day you* have children?
27. Number of hours a day spouse* has children?
28. Number of hours a day neither have children?
29. Amount of time weekly you can be by yourself doing things you want to do?? (Ie- route canals, pap schmeres etc... Oops- did I say that out loud- those are the only two reasons I've ever been able to leave my house WITHOUT a child in tow.)
30. Number of times you stop to thank God daily for all these responsibilites that you know take it out of you but you also know you would NEVER want to be without!!!

*And by this I mean if everyone is home and one parent is taking care of the children (putting to bed etc) OR if one parent has children and you are at work... all time goes to parent WITH the children.

Woooooooooooooooo! I'm tired just asking the questions. I hope you all answer... I'm eager to know how things happen in other homes...

18 comments:

Chelle' said...

I'll go first!!! For the purpose of brevity... 3KiT will officially mean from thus forward... 3 Kids in Tow.

*Husband works full time.
*8,5,3
*2 homeschooled... 1 non-schooled BUT thinks she knows all.

1. I vacuum
2. We cook
3. If something gets dusted... I dust it.
4. I bathe the kids.
5. We brush their teeth.
6. He reads bedtime stories. I read other stories throughout the day.
7. He puts kids to bed.
8. I tend to homeschool unless not feeling well.
9. I grocery shop. (3KiT)
10. I retail shop. (3KiT)
11. I take van for oil changes. (3KiT)
12. I take van for inspections (3KiT)
13. I take van for maintenance. (3KiT)
14.I do minor home repairs.
15. I do family laundry.
16. I mop.
17. I sweep.
18. Seriously? Make beds?
19. I scrub down the tub. (And sometimes try to do it when I'm not showering as well.)
20.What windows? Hmmm.. I bet we'd get more light in the house if I had a better answer to this question.
21.I drive kids to E.C. activities.
22. Our kids don't know there are fun things like malls, movies etc.
23. I make lunch.
24. Kids walk to kitchen table for school.
25. N/A
26. I have children 14 hours a day.(Plus any mid night wake ups)
27. He has children 1 hour. (Bed time rituals)
28. Kids supposed to sleep from 9-6am. K-girl awakes for numerous unknown reasons that I also tend to.
29. Can't really answer this one. I don't get time alone... ever. It's unfortunate.
30. I can't even claim to know how many times I thank the Lord for three healthy, wonderful, active children for whom I am responsible for loving, caring for, educating, nurturing, and bringing up in the ways of the Lord.

Beth said...

Whew...your list is making me tired!

I have two kids, 5 and 3. My husband works outside the home. My kids are in preschool. The 5 year old goes 4 mornings a week and the 3 year old goes 3 mornings a week.

I grocery shop with 1KIT. Any other shopping errands are done during preschool mornings.

My husband gives the kids their baths. We both put the kids to bed. The kids sleep from 8 - 7.

I do everything else. I have 9 hours a week when both kids are in preschool. I thank the Lord many times a day for my kids but I also thank him for my time alone....although I get lonely for them when they are gone!

Perri said...

1. How many parents work? Husband, FT one hour from home
2. Children's ages. D24, S23, S10, D9, S8, S8
3. Education of children? (Homeschooled or Public/Private School) Oldest 2 were public, others are all homeschooled


Then answer the questions...
1. Who vacuums? 10 yr old
2. Who cooks? Me and kids
3. Who dusts? 2 youngest
4. Who bathes the children? tthey do, although I did - not sure about the oldest 2 at this point (Wouldn't it have been funny if I kept with the theme of 2 words and just asked Who bathes?) yes, it would have
5. Who brushes their teeth? We all do :) but if you mean who brushes the kids teeth, they do although about once a week, I get in there and scrub them, too.
6. Who reads bedtime stories? We read stories throughout the day, but not at bedtime
7. Who tucks the children in to bed? Mom
8. Who educates (homeschool) or assists with homework? Mom
9. Who grocery shops? Mom
10. Who retail shops? Mom
11. Who takes the car for oil changes? Dad does at home
12. Who takes the car for inspections? Nobody
13. Who takes the car for body work/maintenance? Both
14. Who does minor home repairs? Mom
15. Oops... almost forgot this one... Who does family laundry? Mom & Kids
16. Who mops? Whichever kid is currently in trouble
17. Who sweeps? Mom & kids at least twice a day usually
18. Who makes the bed? (OK, that's actually a joke... I assume NOONE actually makes their beds anymore.) Right
19. Who scrubs down the tub? 9 yr old in kids bathroom, Mom in master bath
20. Who wipes down the windows? kids love to do this since they get to use the squeegie
21. Who drives the children to extra-curricular activities? Mom ususally now since Dad works 2nd shift, previously both of us did
22. Who drives the children to mall, movies, etc? No mall! Movie, mom
23. Who packs lunches? Mom and kids pack dad's lunch
24.Who takes to bus stop/school? n/a
25. Who gets children ready for day/school? they do
26. Number of hours a day you* have children? all
27. Number of hours a day spouse* has children? some on the weekend
28. Number of hours a day neither have children? sometimes 2
29. Amount of time weekly you can be by yourself doing things you want to do?? Really, as much as I want, but I'm usually with them. Maybe 2 hours weekly
30. Number of times you stop to thank God daily for all these responsibilites that you know take it out of you but you also know you would NEVER want to be without!!! At least 2.

girlymom said...

This is quite the list, here is goes...
Both works~ He gets paid.
6,4,2,5 months
Education:
Public~K
Private~Pre
other 2 are too young

1. I vacuum
2. We cook
3. I try and dust
4. 99% I bathe kids
5. they do~ I double check and rebrush
6. Me
7. Me 99%
8. Just getting into homework, but it's ME
9. This depends, I usually do the big grocery shopping, but Hubby will stop and pick up what's needed. Ocasionally he'll take the list and tackle it.
10. I retail "mom's alone time" yeah as if busy stores and a long to do list are relaxing!
11. Hubby
12. Hubby
13. Hubby (I started refusing to take the car in when I had the babies because nursing a child there was a bit awkward~ too many gawkers, that was it for me)
14. Both
15. Me
16. me
17.me
18. does throwing the blankets towards the headboard count?
19. me
20. my mom comes over to help, if we ever get to it.
21. me
22. too young
23. eat here
24. bus in front of house, preschooler I drive
25. me
26. how many hours are in a day...j/k I have them all day (minus school for oldest 2)
27. alone? Ha~ rare occasion.
28. WOW~ another rare occasion
29. Ya know the only time I have been away over night is to have another child~ yeah I'm sad.
30. I am thankful DAILY~ but could do without some of the chores, I don't think I would miss laundry...or dishes, yeah I hate dishes! :)
Thanks for the list, it was pretty fun and WOW do we mom's spend a lot of time doing "stuff"

Chelle' said...

WOW! I love it. Thanks so much you guys for answering.

For some reason, though I know we do all things as if unto God and not man, our role as mom is seemingly unappreciated at times.

Yor answers were an encouragement to me! It's so great to know there are many of us out there with our children most of the day, investing into their character... education... cleanliness :)

Perri- is that your "Super-Hero" name or your real name? I wouldn't ask except that your answers lead me to believe you are actally a SUPERHERO. 6 Kids? 2 of which are TWINS. FOUR of which are homeschooled????? And a husband that works 2nd shift!Amazing. I really like that your children handle some of the cleaning responsibilities... that's excellent. But my favorite answer was, "Who mops? Whatever child is in trouble." Hilarious.

Girlymom- we are quite similar. I had technically never been without a child from the time I was pregnant in 98 until May of this past year when I had a girl's weekend away. Technically- even in the hospital- when the other child/children were home with their dad- since I had delivered a new baby... I was not without child :) I suppose spacing the children out a bit and not breastfeeding almost entirely between births would have helped.

Thanks again for answering you guys. It made my morning.

Jennifer said...

I jumped over from Mari and thought this would be interesting. I also have a cousin who had/has Lyme Disease and she is a homeschooling mother of 9. They ended up moving from Michigan to Arizona because the doctors told them Michigan weather was too hard on her. I hope you find relief soon!

Hubby works, I am a SAHM
4 kiddos - 16,14,12,8
Public school

1. me
2. me
3. me
4. everyone bathes themselves (when they do finally bathe - I think the youngest 2 still see it as cruel torture)
5. same as above
6. me -to the younger 2 (same bedroom)
7. me - oldest tucks himself in, heaven forbid i try to do that to him anymore
8. me
9. me
10. me -hubby helps with the kids shoes (don't ask - child 3 might not be living if I had to take her again)
11. me, hubby, 16 yr old all take our own in
12. Michigan doesn't require them so no one
13. me, hubby calls to set it up/explain the problem
14. me
15. me -however I fold the clothes at the table and put them infront of the seat where each kid sits and if they want to eat dinner they need to put their clothes away.
16. me
17. me
Are you trying to depress me know...
18. ha! hubby started making it for me and I made such a big deal about it he has done it ever since (going on 4 months) kids don't get made
19. me
20. me
21. me
22. me
23. everyone packs their own (after too much complaining about how/what I pack, it is now one of their afterschool chores to pack tomorrows lunch)
24. me (it is the end of the driveway so I just have to stand at the door)
25. me (the 16 year old is STILL the hardest to get out the door on time)
26. whenever they aren't in school they are pretty much with .... me
27. when he is home but he doesn't "have" them he is just coexsisting with them. LOL!
28. again, when they are at school (except for 16 year old who calls me 50 times a day to let me know what he has forgotten, argh!)
29. probably more than you seeings as my kids are old enough to leave home with the older 2 kids. Let me tell you how nice it is to be able to leave the house without worrying about a babysitter, wonderful!)
30. AMEN! I am feeling the "He's going to be on his own soon" and I don't like it one bit.

All that being said. I have a great hubby who deserves to take it easy when he gets home. He goes to work every day so that I can be home with our kids and I love him for that. He is also great about planning surprise get-aways for just the two of us to let me know how much he appreciates me caring for our kids.
Smiles!

Tara said...

Husband works FT, 45 min. away. One child, 7 months. Not in school yet.


1. Who vacuums? Him--I detest vacuuming.
2. Who cooks? We both do.
3. Who dusts? I do.
4. Who bathes the children? I do.
5. Who brushes their teeth? NA--there are only 2 so far, but I'm sure I'll do it.
6. Who reads bedtime stories? Sorta NA--haven't done too many of those yet.
7. Who tucks the children in to bed? He puts him to bed nightly.
8. Who educates (homeschool) or assists with homework? NA
9. Who grocery shops? Him.
10. Who retail shops? Me or we do it together.
11. Who takes the car for oil changes? Him/we--he arranges it.
12. Who takes the car for inspections? Him/we--he arranges it.
13. Who takes the car for body work/maintenance? Him/we--he arranges it.
14. Who does minor home repairs? Him.
15. Who does family laundry? Me.
16. Who mops? Him.
17. Who sweeps? Me--but rarely.
18. Who makes the bed? Either one if it gets done...
19. Who scrubs down the tub? Me, but he usually cleans the rest of the bathroom(s).
20. Who wipes down the windows? We both do the inside b/c of the dog smears on them--he does the outside.
21. Who drives the children to extra-curricular activities? NA
22. Who drives the children to mall, movies, etc? NA
23. Who packs lunches? NA
24.Who takes to bus stop/school? NA
25. Who gets children ready for day/school? Day--me.
26. Number of hours a day you* have children? 13 plus overnight when baby gets up (except on weekends).
27. Number of hours a day spouse* has children? 1-2.
28. Number of hours a day neither have children? 0.
29. Amount of time weekly you can be by yourself doing things you want to do?? He gives me time on the weekends a lot so I'd say about 15.
30. Number of times you stop to thank God daily for all these responsibilities that you know take it out of you but you also know you would NEVER want to be without!!! Not enough!!!!

Anonymous said...

Hi Moms!
This is really interesting! I remember when Chelle did one of these before and it got such a great response.
1. Husband FT, Wife--Usborne books (a home business) very part-time
for all you home school moms
www.ubah.com/N2055
2. 3 and 1
3. No school yet, but Kids Playhouse at church 1 morning a week

It wouldn't look quite fair if I went down the list because a lot of the things he does aren't on the list. But, all cleaning happens if I do it (for the most part). Trash, cars, dogs he does usually. And the kids, we tag team on bedtime routines. So, our general agreement is one parent for each kid and we both do baths.

As for time alone, I have some and he has some but most of it is after the kids are in bed. If I really need time alone, he will make it happen and vice versa. We have made it a practice to take a weekend away ourselves once a year. Now with two kids, we think two weekends would be fair!

I don't thank God enough for All THREE of the men in my life, so I'll work on that.

Oh yeah, I forgot. Mopping and bed making are unknown activities in my house. :)

Mari said...

This list makes me tired, but here you go.
Both of us work, I now wokr full time, but when kids were young worked 1-2 days a week.
3 kids, last one graduated last year. (25,21,19)
Public school
The answers to these questions are how things were when the kids were young.
1. me
2. me
3. me
4. we both did
5. both of us
6. both
7. both
8. me
9. me
10. me
11. me
12. me
13. both
14. DH
15. me
16. me
17. me
18. both, whoever is up last
19. me
20. occasionally me!
21. both
22. me
23. me
24. me
25. me
26. varied
27. varied
28. varied
29. too few
30. not enough!
The kids always had assigned chores, and that helped with the day to day work.

Joanne said...

Chelle,

I hesitate to show you our list...the kids do ALOT around here. Paul has just started teaching our older two how to change the oil in the cars. People tease us about how much our kids do around the house. They really don't spend a lot of time cleaning, but there are chores they have pretty much daily. Meghan does all the laundry each weel, that is her big chore. David does the kitchen morning and evening, dishwasher included. Gracie sets and clears the table daily and Samuel gets garbages out of each of the rooms. On occasion I get a piece of paper and fold it into fourths, putting lots of other chores down that we don't do very regularly.

I want my kids to have a 'Blessed' life but to understand that to whom much is given much is required.

Blessings, Joanne

p.s. Whaddya think of my picture? You are the first one I used the new comment with. I know you wanted to see my face, but as age marches on..the kids are a much wiser choice.

connorcolesmom said...

Chelle,
Thanks for visiting my site. It was nice to see a new face :)
I love these kinds of question things so here are my answers
I am a mommy of 2 boys 8 and 4
1. I vaccuum but hubby helps if needed
2. I cook during the week and he does on the weekends - he is a much better cook and more creative
3.My boys actually do the dusting
4. My oldest can bathe himself but hubby and I take turns with our little guy
5. We also take turns brushing the teeth although the boys like when I help them b/c I guess I am not as rough as daddy :)
6 We have a fun thing we do at night. We all go into one boys room and read a story and do a devotional
7. On an even day I tuck in the youngest and on odd days I have my oldest
8. I do the bulk of the homework and we get it done b/f daddy gets home so the boys can play with him
9. I love to grocery shop and get a little territorial about it
10. we both retail shop depending on what is needed
11. I take my car and he takes his
12 see above :)
13. see number 11
14. It depends on the repair I grew up with a dad that showed me how to do almost anything around the house and I like to fix things but some things just require extra muscle :)
15 My hubby does his own laundry and I do mine and the boys
16. I mop
17. I sweep
18 I make my bed and the boys every morning I am a bit OCD like that :)
19 I scrub the tub
20. Oh I dont do that are we suppose to - hehe
21 I drive b/c I am a SAHM
22 ME
23 I do the lunch but my oldest loves to make hi own lunch
24. I take my oldest to school but hubby takes when he can
25. My oldest is self-sufficient but I dress the 4 yr old
26. 16 hours a day (for my oldest who attends school) my youngest I have all day M/F but he goes to school T/W/T
27. 2 hours
28. on T/W/Th I have 4 hours with no children
29. It depends but I can usually schedule those things and go alone
30. An infinite amount - they are priceless and a HUGE blessing

That was fun thanks :)
Blessings,
Kim

Michelle in MO said...

I'm a lurker! LOL! I occassionally peek in, I got you off of cfhusband's blog. This sounded fun to do.

My dh works about 45 minutes away from home and I work in the home (SAHM).
ds 10-1/2
ds 8-1/2
dd 7
ds 5-1/2
dd 21 months
We homeschool!

1. Who vacuums? 8-1/2 and 7yo
2. Who cooks? Me
3. Who dusts? children
4. Who bathes the children? dh does the ones who need help still
5. Who brushes their teeth? dh
6. Who reads bedtime stories? dh
7. Who tucks the children in to bed? dh
8. Who educates (homeschool) or assists with homework? Me (some dh)
9. Who grocery shops? Me (sometimes 5 KiT)
10. Who retail shops? Me
11. Who takes the car for oil changes? dh or a pick-up service
12. Who takes the car for inspections? dh
13. Who takes the car for body work/maintenance? dh
14. Who does minor home repairs? Me and dh depending on the issue
15. Oops... almost forgot this one... Who does family laundry? ME I won't LET anyone else touch it except for sorting and folding. Which, BTW, the kids do the folding ;)
16. Who mops? 10-1/2 and 8-1/2 yo
17. Who sweeps? 7 and 5 yo
18. Who makes the bed? Everyone does their own
19. Who scrubs down the tub? dh
20. Who wipes down the windows? 10-1/2 and 7 yo
21. Who drives the children to extra-curricular activities? Me
22. Who drives the children to mall, movies, etc? Don't do this really yet.
23. Who packs lunches? I make them
24.Who takes to bus stop/school? N/A
25. Who gets children ready for day/school? The kids do
26. Number of hours a day you* have children? 24
27. Number of hours a day spouse* has children? 4
28. Number of hours a day neither have children? Zilch, Zero, Nadda
29. Amount of time weekly you can be by yourself doing things you want to do?? Every Thursday night
30. Number of times you stop to thank God daily for all these responsibilites that you know take it out of you but you also know you would NEVER want to be without!!! Not even NEAR enough! ! !

I'm adding another:
Empty/load dishwasher. . .kids alternate days

I think that's it! Thanks for letting me "play"!

Chelle' said...

Michelle- I would love to say Hi to you but I don't see a link in your comment. Email me on my profile so I can respond the next time you "lurk"... and by the way... THANKS for lurking- and more so for commenting.

Hope to see you again soon.

Michelle in MO said...

I don't have a blog or a link. I don't see an "About Me" page for you where I can send you my email. I don't want to post it for public use, but you are more than welcome to contact me if you can tell me where to go to email you.

God Bless!

Chelle' said...

Michelle- you can click on my name in this comment and it will take you to my profile page and there is a link there to email me.

OR... you can just email me at prvbs31girl@juno.com

Up to you friend.

THanks again for commenting. (twice:)

girlymom said...

Chelle~ We do have a lot in common. It's nice to know I'm not alone. This list was a great way to that.

Christy said...

I know I'm rather late and a new reader of your blog, not sure how I came across you! But here goes:

First set of questions:
1. DH is a soldier in the US Army I'm a SAHM
2. Would be 9 (died when she was 2 from AML leukemia), 7, 4, and 6 mo.
3. Homeschool

Next set:
1. I do
2. Mostly me
3. Rare to happen, but me
4. Older 2 do themselves, 6 mo. I do
5. Both help
6. Mostly DH
7. Both
8. Mostly I do
9. This is about equal (when he's not deployed I use his help in this are a lot!!)
10. Mostly me
11. He does it himself, when he's gone we try to find a capable friend or I take it in
12. Normally him, but again I do if he's deployed
13. Same as above
14. Both (if he's gone I obviously have to)
15. ME
16. ME
17. ME
18. I do....before we go to bed! LOL
19. Me
20. Me
21. Both
22. Equal
23. Neither
24. N/A
25. Homeschool, but the older 2 dress themselves
26. 24 hr
27. When he's home he normally gets home about 5:30
28. ME...none...him work hours and time he's out training or deployed!
29. Um..right now never, I don't leave my 6 month old with anyone, oh wait..I left her 2 weeks ago for 20 minutes to run to the mailroom!
30. Too many to count!!!! :)



Great questions, although I think we fall into that special sort of category since my husband is deployed about every 15-18 months for 12-15 months...we're preparing for another deployment in a few months so for the next month I'm home alone going at it while he's training!

Dunda said...

Thru God's grace I have learned to stop trying to track who does what b/c at the end of the day I love every second with my kids and if that means more chores than my husband so be it. (I also work full-time so I may not as many hours logged with the kids although my 3 year old is only at school for 25 hours a week so I am using working and performing the list...oh I said I wasn't going to go there and it is best for my personal happiness that I stop right here. God bless mommies b/c we bless our kiddos and husbands with our behind the scence chores LOL.