None the less, tonight- I found myself right back in the midst of it. You see, Monday night in the lives of the W's includes ballet. It's all the rage. Just about at any point of the week you can ask K-girl, "What's ________ (insert time frame here)... tonight, tomorrow, next Monday etc?" and she will quickly, without thought and or hesitation respond, "BALLET!" To be quite honest, her response is followed by a quick transition to the second floor to change into a Tu-Tu just so she is ready to go on time. (Even if I am asking her on a Tuesday)
Well, at Ballet tonight, her instructor, Miss Angie (whom we absolutely adore- as you can see in the picture below) gathered the 8 girls in her class together to tell them that for the recital this May- their class would be broken in two and added to two other existing classes. Pause to reflect upon the tears and whining that occurred in the moment. (...the children were a bit upset about it all too.)
You see- this is where the highschool flashback came into play. All the sudden I saw it- the struggle- the popular and the unpopular. The talented and the untalented. The "pick me" for the gym team vs the "I'm the last person standing here so I guess I'm stuck on your team". A bit of fear flooded me for the sake of my daughter.
K-girl has made friends there. She really really likes Miss Angie and the girls in her ballet class. She, Lacey and Riley have become great friends. (Can you imagine?? K-girl, Lacey and Riley... an exclusive group of only girls whose names end in a long E sound) What if the girls are separated I wonder. What if Lacey and Riley and the other girls are sent to a new class and K-girl is left behind? Is this setting her up for a long road of "odd man out"??
*I know this is silly but as a mom... I think about these things. I want the very best for my wee ones... especially when it comes to this ballet class as it has helped socialize my youngest who before this class was incapable of looking at anyone in the eye. My youngest who was incapable of letting go of my leg in a room where other people were... including grandparents. My youngest who was incapable of smiling at anyone outside our immediate family. It matters!!
And on a completely selfish note... the mom's of the three musketeers (me, Riley's mom, and Lacey's mom- which up to last week was truly what we addressed one another as...) are just as good of friends as the girls are to one another. So the idea of separating our children to different classes was unacceptable to us...
Well, no word on how this will all pan out. I'm almost certain it's not nearly as big of a deal as I'm making it out to be. I just want to be sure K-girl isn't made to feel uncomfortable this close to a recital. I want to be sure she isn't insecure because things change at the last minute. I really want to be sure she knows that in spite of any transition that happens with her ballet class... her friends are still her friends, even if it means we don't see them weekly.
And so- my point... highschool, THANK THE LORD, is behind me. And K-girl has a long while before she has to worry about the teenage woes of fitting in. My hope, and reminder in the midst of this situation, is that I make known to her a God of unconditional Love... a God that knew her before she was in my womb... a God that calls her unto Himself because He has a specific plan and purpose for her that He has for no other on this earth. That as she finds herself in HIM she'll recognize she has no other need for acceptance and or security. He will be enough. And that the byproduct of her relationship with Him will be healthy, stable, joy-filled friendships with others.
Ahhhh, to be a parent. This much I know for sure... Parenting makes highschool look like a piece of cake!
**** I had to edit this post to add this- God is always at work. Even in this silly situation which is surely so much more about me than it is about K-girl or any of her thoughts or concerns. I happened to have Scrubs on while I posted this but really started watching it after (while I was giving myself my IV meds.) I caught the closing monologue which included this statement...
"It's funny how our perceptions can be so off. Like when you're searching for a place to fit in and you don't even realize you've been there the whole time."
That's what I want for K-girl... to be so in Him... that she doesn't have to search for a place to fit in because she's "been there" the whole time. ******