Friday, October 17, 2008

Love Dare- Day 2!

Yesterday's follow-up: Did anything happen to cause anger toward your mate? Were you tempted to think disapproving thoughts and to let them come out in words? If you feel led, share your comments about yesterday below. Then read up on today's dare.
Love Is Kind

"Be kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." Ephesians 4.32

Kindness is love in action. If patience is how love reacts in order to minimize a negative circumstance, kindness is how love acts to maximize positive circumstance. Patience a problem; kindness creates a blessing. One if preventative, the other proactive.

The Bible says this about kindness, "Do not let kindness and truth leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good repute in the sight of God and man." Proverbs 3.3-4

Kindness can be broken down into four basic core ingredients:

1. Gentleness- When you operate from kindness you are sensitive and tender with your spouse.

2. Helpfulness- Being kind means you meet the needs of the moment, serving, without considering your rights.

3. Willingness- Kindness inspires you to be agreeable, flexible, and cooperative instead of obstinate, reluctant or stubborn.

4. Initiative- Kindness thinks ahead. It sees the need and then makes the move- first!

It's difficult to demonstrate love when you feel little to no motivation. But love in its truest sense is not based on feelings. Rather, love determines to show thoughtful actions even when there seems to be no reward. You will never learn to love until you learn to demonstrate kindness.

Today's Dare

In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.

10 comments:

Denise said...

It was a great day, God is working. Bless you for hosting this.

Mari said...

Yesterday was pretty easy for me. Nothing came up so no negative tendencies. Today may be difficult because I am working days and Bob is working until 8pm so I'll have to think about what I can do for him with that schedule!

Tracy @ our Journey said...

Oh wow! I look forward to seeing what everyone did!

Peggy said...

Blessings Chelle..and thanks for capsulizing so well KINDNESS!

You know that I had to practice the patient part on my 5 dogs...hubby MIA
(lol) anyways...no success even with my precious pups. You know how my blog is called Amazing Grace...Mazes, Messes...well, I truly mess up when it comes to holding my quick temper or being patient. One dog hears or sees or senses something outside to bark about at any hour of the day & most recently night, and all of them have to join in, run outside or pack together at the gate or fence,
barking their heads off. One, I handle a little better with just walking outside and demanding their obedience with one gesture...no words. Love & kindness! But all 5!
Makes me worse than they are but at least I accomplish my mission of getting them all herded together & in the house & peace is restored for a while. I think I see application here to real people.

WOW! God truly is aMazing! I'm not an evil person, ya know...I really do love my dogs...and much more Our Father in Heaven loves us. I do not think HE has ever treated me like this...not even the silent gesture of pointing in a direction. Lots to learn...but I better get it right before I run out of time and have to practice it on real family members or possible my spouse.
God willing I will succeed at
the kindness deal as well as hold my tongue...much better today than yesterday! I know I'm kind to my dogs(hmmm)let me check with them.

Enjoy Day 2 y'all & asking for God to pour LOVE over you & your spouse or chosen loved one for this challenge...you know this LOVE DARE has wide applications!!! Love & God's richest blessings!

Maybe I'll get a phone card & call home...even though they forgot my birthday and never bother to call or email...God does not tell us that our showing love to them is contingent on them showing love to us! It would be nice! Now can I show patience & kindness! These fruits of the spirit are so vital!
I do better with strangers.

Joanne said...

Chelle,

Yesterday went well. I just had my one goof in the morning. Today is going to be more difficult. I am usually pretty good at making Paul iced tea, lunch etc without his asking.

Hmmm, now you have me thinking.

**and I didn't know that I had to continue dare 1 on day 2!

sailorcross said...

I went and bought the book today and read Chapter 1 and 2. I said nothing negative to my son at all today, though I was tempted to once. But, I didn't. It was something so small that it wasn't even worth mentioning, so why would I have thought about mentioning it in the first place!

I've already moved on to the Day 2 Dare because I was thinking I was behind a day. I'll save what I did for tomorrow!!

Beth

Nancy said...

"One a preventative, the other proactive". I like that alot it helps me to keep thinking in those terms. I mentioned that I have a very gentle spirited husband, but I do get frustrated with him at times over little things. He has an extreme sweet tooth so today I made him cream puffs, he loved them. I don't bake much so it was a surprise. This makes me think of random acts of kindness not just to our husbands but to all.

Fran said...

Thanks Chelle! I'm loving these challenges.

Hugs,
Fran

Chelle' said...

I'm kind of with Mari on this... Day 1 was a bit easy for me because my husband works much of the day. My Dare really came into play when he called me on the phone. I had to remember my commitment and be sure to be positive on the phone.

For me the real Dares will occur when he is home and I have more opportunities to choose my responses.

I'm so glad to see everyone participating. Fran, Beth, Nancy, Denise, Mari, Joanne, Paggy and Tracy... I am praying for your relationships. And others that I know are reading and not commenting. ;) God is touching hearts!!

The Patterson 5 said...

Today is day two for me and ya'll are on nine (the Patterson 5's are routinely late). I did not get angry at Mr P yesterday- and I even just asked him if I did and he did not think so but I was discouraged about our lack of just him and me time. So those thoughts were negative, just not aimed directly at him. Tonight while I was "together" with my husband (I was working in the church kitchen and Mr P was manning our booth at the Boy Scout Fall Festival) I made arrangements for next Sat. night to have a babysitter!!!!!!!!! Maybe we can go see Fireproof!

After our boys football games I took all three of our cherubs out and about for the entire afternoon so Mr P could work on his final presentation for his class. He appreciated being home alone with actual quietness to get work done!

My husbands love language is acts of service and we used to take our garbage to the dump. (the two are not related except for this story.) He'd have to take the garbage once a week-a loothsome and heavy job. So I decided I'd do it- but so it would not be heavy I went every day. It took him a week and a half to notice that the trash never need to be taken. The next day we had garbage service. Good thing because my daughter enjoys Mon. and Thurs. when Mr Donnie comes for recycling and trash! My act of service was a win win all around!