Sunday, October 19, 2008

Love Dare- Day 3!

Yesterday's Followup: What discoveries about love did you make today? What specifically did you do in this dare? How did you show kindness? Take a second to share below and then embark on today's dare.


Love is Not Selfish

"Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor." Romans 12.10

We live in a world that is enamored with "self." The culture around us teaches us to focus on our appearance, feelings, and personal desires as the top priority. The goal, it seems, is to chase the highest level of happiness possible. Unfortunately, if there were ever a word that basically means the opposite of love, it is selfishness. Almost every sinful action ever committed can be traced back to a selfish motive. It is a trait we hate in other people but justify in ourselves. Why do we have such low standards for ourselves but high expectations for our mate? The answer is too simple to ignore and too painful to swallow... WE ARE SELFISH!!!

When a husband puts his interests above that of his wife- selfish. When a wife complains about the time and energy she spends on her husbands needs- selfish. Love, "does not seek its own" (I Cor. 13.5) That's because true love looks for ways to say, YES! Choosing to love your mate will cause you to say "no" to what you want so you can say "yes" to what they need.

Here are a few questions we all need to ask ourselves:

1. Do I truly want what's best for my ___________? (Insert relationship here)
2. Do I want them to feel loved by me?
3. Do they believe I have their best interests in mind?
4. Do they see me as looking out for myself first?

"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourself. " Philippians 2.3

Today's Dare

Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. It's hard to care for something that you are not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says, "I was thinking of you today."

6 comments:

Chelle' said...

I was a little late with this post today. My apologies. If I could tell you what has been going on with the electronics in our home since I said I would host this study.... you wouldn't believe me.

Anyway, does anyone else feel like we are only a couple days into and it is really heating up? Personally, I am realizing just how deep my self-preservation goes. Chalk it up to selfishness and pride!! Kindness really lacks in me. REALLY!! I tend to be short, offer only necessary information and really not extend myself beyond that.

Yesterday I chose to force myself to be kind. Yes, I said it, I forced myself. And I saw God work with the little I had to offer.

We spent the day at Seven Springs with our children for Autumn Fest and not one misunderstanding occurred. In choosing patience and kindness throughout the day... I watched our family enjoy a day full of activities together.

It was wonderful. Day 2 down... 38 to go. And ya'll... today is selflessness. HANG ON TIGHT.

sailorcross said...

I made it through Day 1 without one negative comment towards my son. I had a thought, and then second-guessed myself--it wasn't a necessary comment so I just let it go.

Day 2:

My act of kindness was small, but an act of kindness regardless.

He was going to work late in the afternoon. I went out to his car and placed a note on the front seat telling him how much I love him and that I don't tell him nearly enough. I asked for his forgiveness in my part of our argument the previous week.

Inside the note, I wrapped up two cow tails (does everyone know cow tails--caramel creams shaped like a long tube resembling a cow tail) because he loves them.

In the note, I wrote that I was giving him these because that is how I felt--like "cow poop" over our disagreement.

I came home from church today, and my son is just leaving for work now. As he left, he said to me, "I love you, Mutti". I haven't heard that in a long time.

Mutti is what he has called me since about 6th grade--German for mother.

On to Day 3!!

Beth

Mari said...

It went well! I was working and got a little bag of goodies saying "good job" and it had heart stickers on the outside because it was sweetest day. I stopped at his work and dropped it on his paint desk with his name on. He didn't see me and still doesn;t know who gave it to him! I also stopped and picked up a sub for him because when he works late he is always hungry for something that isn't just a snack. He was happy to come home and find that I had something good for him!

Denise said...

My act of kindness was making his favorite pie, peach. I also gave him a massage, he was very happy. I am loving this!!

Joanne said...

I still have time...

I may have to get him a coffee tomorrow, ugh. Where did this day go?

The Patterson 5 said...

I have skipped on to day three and I will focus on this day for tomorrow (Sunday 10/26) actually I may have to buy something on Mon.

I am sooooo selfish.... it is a constant battle. Mr P and those who know me well are surprized when I share I am selfish but I know my own mind and heart and God definately sees the inside. I really have to work on it. My brother calls me "the Princess" and not so much in an endearing way, so it is probably a trait I've had since my youth.

I loved Sailors comments about the cow tails! Very cute!