Love is THOUGHTFUL!
How precious also are Your thoughts to me... How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand. -Psalm 139.17-18
Love thinks. When you first fell in love, being thoughtful came quite naturally. You honestly confessed, "I can't stop thinking about you." But for most couples, things begin to change after marriage. The motivation for thoughtfulness cools. You unintentionally begin to ignore the needs of your mate.
If you don't learn to be thoughtful, you end up regretting missed opportunities to demonstrate love. Thoughtlessness is a silent enemy to a loving relationship. If we are being honest, men struggle with thoughtfulness more than women. Men tend to be one minded... focusing on one thing and forgetting the rest of the world. Women tend to think relationally. While at work at something she is cognizant of all the people somehow connected to it.
Good news... BOTH of these tendencies are examples of how God designed women to complete their men. Genesis 2.18 says, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him" Unfortunately, these differences also create opportunities for misunderstanding and if a couple doesn't understand this about one another, the fallout can result in endless disagreements.
A woman deeply longs for her husband to be thoughtful. It is a key to helping her feel loved. It is why she waits for surprises and when she is disappointed or upset, she tends not to tell him. She doesn't feel she should have to "spell it out" and he is equally grieved because he can't read her mind and wonders why he endures punishment for crimes he doesn't know he has committed.
Love REQUIRES thoughtfulness, on both sides. The kind that builds bridges through the constructive combination of patience, kindness and selflessness. Love thinks before speaking. It teaches you to engage your thoughts before your lips. It filters words through a grid of truth and kindness.
When was the last time you spent a few minutes thinking about how you could better understand and demonstrate love to your spouse?
Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do for them.