Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Please Read...

I posted last Saturday regarding my marriage... what I thought to be a transparent and accurate perspective of my relationship as it stands. I believed myself to have taken into consideration my husband's perspectives and feelings as I wrote that post, making very clear that the issues he has stated, are not only valid but true.

He was not comfortable with that post. And many of the conversations we've had recently debated whether or not I should have ever posted anything of that nature.

I have spent the last 24 hours thinking on this very topic... and this is what I have come up with. (With the counsel of two very dear friends)

This is my blog. And in that one can assume, even anticipate, that my feelings, thoughts, etc will be plastered on it's pages. That should I pick a topic to discuss or mull over, here in this webspace, that... I will. And I do. Commonly.

However, whether I may or may not be "entilted" to share my feelings with you here on this blog... is not really the issue. The issue is , "Do I want this marriage to work?" and if so, "What am I willing to do about it?"

I have an opportunity here to RESPECT my husband. So- I have made the choice to take down the post from last week as it has caused Paul to feel uncomfortable (which was never my intent none the less the result remains.) I will also be more considerate in the future and not share conversational details here.

Please know right now that this is a choice and not at all a feeling. Pulling that post goes against how I feel... but in an effort to invest into my marriage I am making the choice (and praying the feeling quickly follows) to respect him and to ultimately TRY!

Which leads me to the Love Dare.

I WANT God to move here. In me. In my heart. I am praying this Love Dare Challenge is an avenue He'll use to make me more like Him, granting me the ability to put my thoughts and insecurities aside and to love my husband unconditionally, selflessly, and with humility. To esteem him greater than myself... to build him up and to respect him.

And, in as much as this Love Dare is a challenge to me... I have to tell you I view it also as a challenge to God. I will do this Dare. Every day... to the best of my ability. I will choose Paul over me and God over us both... and I will EXPECT God to intervene. To change hearts and draw us unto Himself. I will expect God to soften our hearts... and make us capable of seeing Him in one another. And I will expect God to reunite our hearts throughout the course of this Dare.

What about you? Do you have any expectations throughout the course of this Love Dare??


A Stone Gatherer said...

Chelle' you do what's right for your marriage! Honor your husbands request and lay it at God's feet! He's big enough! Praying for you!

Mari said...

I think you are really honoring your hubby by taking the post down. I know it's not easy to do something like that when you don't see the problem with it. I don't have a problem with it either but the fact that you took his feelings into account is big. I'll be praying for you both during this time and I expect big things too!

Demara said...

I have had moments such as these in our marriage as well.

Overall this is your blog, your venting grounds, but is it only you that makes a marriage?

Marriage being the topic at hand, even for me in my thoughts:

Is our marriage any different from another topic we would vent on? Should the Marital venting be tread upon rather differently than other venting issues?

I have had thoughts such as these when it comes to my husband feeling uncomfortable on issues I've brought up too and vice versa.

We, my husband and I, are truly different people united in love to form one person with one common goal. What is that goal? What is your "marital" goal? Do you have one?

Just some thoughts...and I can relate.

Nancy said...

I believe you are showing respect toward your husband by taking down the post. It is your webspace so to speak, but there are some things between husband and wife that are and should be very private. I this case he (your husband) must have felt you over stepped that boundary. God is working in both of you and my prayers will continue for this spiritual warfare. Satan is trying very hard to break down the marriage covenant, everywhere keep holding to God's promises, you will prevail in HIS strength.

Mama Abby said...

Chelle...I respect where you and he are coming from with this...there are things that I have been surprised that have been hard for Jared when I thought they wouldn't be a problem...they usually have revolved around things (like something I might call a "pet peave" in private, but I do it in public)that would not paint him in the best light to others...I think you know that however he expressed it, it reflects a sensitivity about who he is as a person and wanting to be respected (like in the movie)...Having said that, don't beat yourself up about the post because, I, for one, have been able to pray much more specifically for you in your marriage. God can and does redeem everything...keep the faith! love&hugs

Paula (SweetPea) said...

I love what you said here: "I will EXPECT God to intervene." I think that goes right along with a past post of my titled "Confident Expectation". We need to expect His participation and intervention in our lives. He is there and wants to help. Expectation in human relationships is NEVER a good idea as we are just setting ourselves up for disappointment. However, we can expect what God promises to us and that is His intervention and guidance in our lives. To have expectation like this of God, means we are looking for His help.

Regarding your post, I think it is very honorable and pleasing to God to respect our husbands. Actually, it's His command in Eph. 5:25. So, regardless of your husband's request validity or not, you are doing the honorable thing. I can say I understand his need for privacy. I think it would be the same if we had a disagreement with a friend. We would want to be sensitive to not reveal his/her identity but we can indicate and discuss the topic in general.

I have to agree with mamma abby that your post did give us a better perspective of how to pray for you.

Thanks for your openness and honesty.

stacy said...

I'm proud of you my friend . . .

MyJourneyBack said...

I came over from Peggy's blog and was reading about the challenge. I got to this post and had to comment. I totally understand your comments in the beginning about how this is your blog and you want to be able to write whats on your mind etc. When I started My Journey almost a year ago many things in my life were somewhat in turmoil. Partly by my own doing or feelings partly because of curcumstances. I really wanted to write about some of those feelings and I have to tell you that it took a lot of trust in God to be careful about what to say. It is really difficult sometimes when you have things that you just need to voice, or to just get out and then be done with it so to speak. I have no idea what your post was about or the content. But I do understand your resolve to be the wife God wants you to be and I truly do understand how hard it is sometimes. I am in the exact same place. And it is resolve and dependance on God and trust in that he knows best that keeps me going. When I have to bite my tongue or just step back and not push my ideas. It is only God that gives me strength. And so I lift you up my dear sister. I pray for you and that God will give you wisdom and discernment and strength to be loving and the Godly women he plans for you to be.
Many Blessings and prayers for you.
In Him,

Michele said...

Chelle, I do not have time to read many blogs latley but I can't wait to see what God is going to do here. I think you did the right thing! You are honoring God and your husband. You can't go wrong there. I so admire you.