It's almost comical to post regarding the last three weeks in the life of our family. Our health has been completely compromised in ways I didn't know possible. First let me preface by saying everyone is seemingly fine today and hopefully WELL ON THEIR WAY TO FULL RECOVERY- now for the time line- go ahead, laugh at our expense.
Sunday Novemeber 26th- Despite my counsel to Paul to NOT put the children in their Sunday School classes, and more so K-girl in her nursery program at Church Paul insists and the infections brew...
Wednesday November 29th- while out of town K-girl is awake ALL night (sleeping in bed with me which makes me awake all night to write about it.) and finally tells me at 5 in the morning that her ear hurts and she needs medicine. Due to the fact that we are out of town- I am forced to bundle her up, hope the boys remain asleep in their beds, and rush to the nearest 24 hour store (which is 20 minutes away because my in-laws have the nicest 6 bedroom log cabin on 7 acres of land that I've ever seen in the middle of NOWHERE-VILLE- close in proximity to Shrek's inlaws in the land of Far Far Away.) I purchase cold and flu medicine that I have to coax her into swallowing with a peanut butter candy cake chaser... and call her Dr. at 9am to get an antibiotic ordered for her.
Ahhhhh- at least the drama is over right???? Wrong.
Thursday November 30th- while still out of town, Beetle is awake all night, (he is sleeping in the same room as me so I too was awake to write about it.) Come morning he coughs a cough that would scare even the most experienced parent. He barks, sealishly, at me all the while indicating that he can't breathe. I rush him outside at 6 am knowing that this cough benefits from Crisp cold air and at 6am in central PA... that's just what I'll find right? WRONG. It was 54 degrees already and of no help to my cause. I instead relocate him to a small bathroom with the hot shower running and he settles down and breathes big deep breaths. A phone call to the doctor hours later ends in a prescription of steriods for him to cease the swelling in his voice box from CROUPE. Nice.
Ahhhh... at least the drama is over right???? WRONG.
Same night Paul's grandfather is admitted into the hospital for bleeding in his brain that we would come to find would require surgery. Seriously? Seriously!
Sunday December 3rd- Paul's entire family is in town at the hospital to spend time with his grandfather before his surgery (craniotomy- sp?) Our children, not understanding that most infections are received from hospitals NOT relinquished in hospitals... are crawling around the floor, touching large red trash cans with HAZARD signs on them, and despite numerous threats against them are putting their hands in their mouths, up their noses, and are wiping their eyes. Awesome.
Monday December 4th- We spend the day at the hospital while Pap is undergoing surgery and my children take advantage of yet another day of "Catch that infection". As though it is a big game- A game they took quite seriously... they did all they could to pick up the infection they may have previously failed to catch. (This does indeed come back to bite us in the butt I assure you.)
Tuesday December 5th- the easiest of all things to rectify- I'd been off my antibiotics for weeks and it caught up with me. Muscle pain... headaches... swollen glands. I start Vantin (located in my vast supply of Abx) and call for a Dr. appt which at the earliest would be a week away. Awesome.
Ahhhh... at least the drama is over right? WRONG.
Wednesday December 6th- B-boy sees Dr. Leslie for his foot pain, knee pain and the fact that he walks on his toes. Dr. says that B-boy CAN walk without being on his toes which is a good thing but that he will need Physical Therapy to stretch the ligaments that have shrunk because of his constant toe walking.
Ahhh... at least the drama is over right? WRONG.
Thursday December 7th- BEETLE HAS SUCCEEDED!!! His mission of catching something viral from the hospital has worked! He starts hurling all over himself, my living room and ironically, all things white... (my carpet, his shirt, me) and doesn't stop for 12 hours.
Ahhhh... at least the drama is over right? WRONG.
Friday December 8th- B-BOY HAS SUCCEEDED!!! His mission of catching something viral from the hospital has worked. He starts coughing, and I mean to say like an 80 year old chain smoking woman who has emphazema coughing.... Are you kidding me???
How long can this last though???? Yeah, sure.
Monday December 11th- Brenden sees his Dr. who diagnoses him with Acute Bronchitis and puts him on an Antibiotic. His Dr. also listens in on K-girl and looks in her ears and diagnoses her with Croupe and an ear infection and prescribes her with an antibiotic. REALLY?
At least they'll be on antibiotics... clearly NOW THE DRAMA IS OVER RIGHT? WRONG!!!
Wednesday December 13th- I visit my Dr. for lyme and find that my glands are swollen not because of lyme but because of what the kids have... bronchitis. Excellent. My throat is a mess... my voice is hoarse... and I have two new prescriptions for antibiotics. This will be the end of the drama, I can feel it!!!
Uh- Huh... that's what they all say.
Friday December 15th- K-girl has Paul's chocolate birthday cake for breakfast (as do the boys) and why wouldn't they.... it's not like they have a mother to feed them something nutritious for the most important meal of the day. She starts complaining her belly hurts to which I chuckle to myself... "Uh yeah, of course your belly hurts- you just ate CHOCOLATE CAKE for breakfast. That's a nobrainer." We suit up for the day and head out. Dave and Busters. (An adult Chuck E Cheese) for three hours. Then lunch. Salsaritas. (Glorified Taco Bell) She won't eat. The boys each have a taco and chips. She won't touch her food. I then do what any mother would do... opt for a small cup of chocolate ice cream from Cold Stone Creamery next door. I figure if she'll eat it... it's at least SOMETHING in her system. (You can obviously tell how this is going to come back to haunt me...) After lunch we go to Dicks Sporting Goods to look for shoes for B-boy and as we leave to go to Target I pick up K-girl to put her in a cart and Beetle walks right behind me... I hear the noise. K-girl is up and over my shoulder at this point... Beetle comes from behind into my line of vision and I see he is covered... head to toe on his right side (hair, face, shoulder, vest, jeans, shoes... ) in K-girl's chocolate vomit. (I make NONE of this up... hard to believe huh????) She has just hurled all over my sweatshirt blazer, my jeans, my hair, Beetle, and well even the ground, cart and Dick's picture window... I stood her on the ground in the hopes that she would know to bend in half and get the rest on the ground but no luck. As she stood there, erect, she hurled the rest onto her shirt, skirt, and shoes. CHOCOLATE cake and ice cream. AWESOME.
I have to tell you- as I stood there the weather went from 60 degrees and beautiful to 50 degrees and extremely windy. I wondered as MANY walked by and didn't offer to help (I'm not judging ... I can't say I'd know how to offer help in that situation either) I wondered how the heck I'd get out of that situation. I couldn't strip them on the sidewalk. It was freezing. I had to try to clean them up some. I took my blazer off... just a white cami on (how embarrassing.) and went into Dick's to get some bags to put our hurled upon clothes into. I also bought Wet Ones they had on the counter. (Sidenote- To the purchasing manager at Dicks... THANK YOU for stocking something so necessary for $1.38 at the counter. I don't know what I would've done with out that vital pack of wipees.)
I got everyone back to the van- which it honestly started raining at this point. (Are you kidding me???) The boys got in the car and Beetle stripped to his underwear. (Poor thing... the boys are little Paul's when it comes to modesty. Beetle really would've preferred to ride home in K-girl's hurl than to ride home in just Ice Age boxers. ) I stripped K-girl down and put her in her car seat in just panties and thankfully... a blanket that we had in our car from a road trip. (Another sidenote- cleaning out the car post trip is HIGHLY OVERRATED! See how my procrastination and laziness has paid off/??????)
This was one of the hardest situations to take care of alone. Paul was still at work at 4:45 when I was traveling home from Dicks Sporting Goods with the kids. I had to carry each naked child in, get K-girl established on the "Sick Couch" which is covered in towels, and has the "Sick Bowl" next to it. Got Beetle into the tub as he was still covered in hurl and needed his face and hair washed. Coach big girl in hurling procedures so as to not get it on my carpet, couch... or well, anywhere other than the bowl. (She's never had this virus before so this was new to her... and frankly, she wasn't good at the rules of the game let me tell you.)
She threw up hourly... 4:20, 5:50, 7:05, 8:05, 8:30, 9:40... and just to be sure I wasn't getting any sleep... 2am. Excellent.
She is up and at 'em this morning. Begging for food. I'm no dummy. She can TRY food at 4:20 and not a second before. If this is a 24 hour bug... I'm not giving it one more "GO" by feeding her before it's run its course.
Ahhhh... but at least the drama is over right???
IT SURE BETTER BE!!!!!!!!!!
(you can stop laughing at us now.)
(you can stop laughing at us now.)