Friday, October 31, 2008

Love Dare- Day 15!!

Yesterday's Followup: What did you decide to give up? What did you do together? How did it go? What new thing did you learn(or relearn) about your spouse?

Love is Honorable

Live with your wives in an understanding way... show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life. - 1 Peter 3.7

There are certain words in our language that have powerful meanings. Whenever these words are used, an air of respect is associated with them. These words never lose their timeless quality, class and dignity. HONOR is one of these words.

To honor someone means to give them respect and high esteem, to treat them as being special and of great worth. When you speak to them, you keep your language clean and understandable. You are courteous and polite. When they speak to you, you take them seriously, giving their words weight and significance. When they ask you to do something, you accommodate them if at all possible, simply out of respect for who they are.

The Bible tells us to honor" our father and mother, as well as those in authority. It is a call to acknowledge the position or value of someone else. Honor is a noble word.

This is especially true in marriage. Honoring your mate means giving him or her your full attention, not talking to them from behind a newspaper or with one eye on the television. When decisions are being made that affect both of you or your whole family, you give your mate's voice and opinion equal influence in your mind. You honor what they have to say. They matter- and because of the way you treat them, they should know it.

But there is another word that isn't commonly associated with marriage and calls us to a higher place. A word that forms that basis for honor- the very reason why we give respect and high regard to our spouse. That word is HOLY.

To say your spouse should be "holy" to you doesn't mean that he or she is perfect. Holiness means they are set apart for a higher purpose- no longer common or everyday but special and unique. A person who has become holy to you have a place no one can rival in your heart. They are sacred to you, a person to be honored, praised, and defended.

Is this how it is in your marriage? Would your mate say you honor and respect them? Do you consider them set apart and highly valued? Holy?

Perhaps you don't feel this way, and maybe for goo reason. Perhaps you wish some outsider could see the level of disrespect you get from your spouse- someone who would make your mate feel embarrassed to be exposed for who they really are behind closed doors.

But that's not the issue with love. LOVE HONORS EVEN WHEN IT'S REJECTED. Love treats its beloved as special and sacred even when an ungrateful attitude is all you get in return.

It's marvelous, of course, when a husband and wife are joined in this purpose, when they're following the biblical command to be "devoted to one another" in love, when they're "giving preference to one another in honor" (Romans 12.10) "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure" (Hebrews 13.4)

But when you attempts at honor go unreciprocated, you are to give honor just the same. That's what love dares to do- to say, "Of all the relationships I have, I will value ours the most. Of all the things I'm willing to sacrifice, I will sacrifice the most for you. With all your failures, sins, mistakes, and faults- past and present- I still choose to love and honor you. That's how you create an atmosphere for love to be rekindled. That's how you lead your heart to truly love your mate again. And that's the beauty of honor.

Today's Dare

Choose a way to show honor and respect to your spouse that is above your normal routine. It may be holding the door for her. It might be putting his clothes away for him. It may be the way you listen and speak in your communication. Show your mate that he or she is highly esteemed in your eyes.


Chelle' said...

I "gave up" a family fun night on Saturday at a friend's church. A couple of my friends (and their families) are going to this family fun night and I too wanted my family to go... but we were also invited to a bonfire with some of our church friends.

Our family is going to the bonfire. And though I would love to be at family fun night... I find myself excited to go to this bonfire with my husband and our children.

I've been reading how God is working in your relationships. ANd I praise Him for every report you all offer. He is clearly in the business of meeting us all where we are and changing us to be more like Him.

But I can't help but look at what He is doing in my relationship and stand in awe. Hearts have been softened, walls have been torn down, communication lines have been opened, and friendship... FRIENDSHIP has been infused.

Have you come to the place in your marriage where you are simply coexisting? Sharing the responsibilities of the children? of the house? Making sure things are taken care of by the end of the day and realizing that you actually function as roommates better than spouses?

Well, I can admit to feeling that way and I can tell you that there is a freshness, a newness to our relationship today that wasn't here 2 weeks ago.

Let me be clear that I am aware of time being a truth teller. But so far, the effort we've put into this marriage has been met by the Lord with blessing, love and redemption.

I hope you will stop by this weekend to share what God is doing in your relationships thus far or to read the praise reports of others.

God is in this Ya'll!!!

Mari said...

Chelle - I'm so happy to read your report! That's an answer to prayer.
I don't know that I followed this challenge to the letter of the law, because what we did yesterday was giving up an evening of relaxation and spent it painting together. We finished painting our entryway, which includes painting down the steps. It's not like doing something fun together, but we did have fun while doing it!

Nancy said...

Oh that is just wonderful Chelle' I'm so happy that God is working in your hearts and making changes for you both.
Being older and I like to think a bit wiser we seem to enjoy each other even if it is just sitting in the same room together. We both read alot and spend some free time with our noses in books. We did take a walk together this afternoon and that is usually something that I do alone but Sweetman suggested it so I said "lets go". Smiles to you.

Denise said...

I gave up some computer time today for my lovebug. He has been wanting to take his car cover to the Laundromat, so he could wash it in a giant washing machine. When we were finished, we took the car through the car wash. I helped him vacuum the inside of the car, and cleaned the inside windows for him. It was fun, some quality laughing time. Prayer: Dear Lord, thanks for quality time with my husband. May I never neglect to care about the things that are important to him. Amen

Colored With Memories said...

hey there!

i've been enjoying this love dare a bit from afar. i'm honestly hoping to dive in and do the challenge for real at a later seems so good!

i wanted to let you know that you won my blogoversary giveaway!

e-mail me your address and i'll get the starbucks gift card sent off to you.

coloredwithmemories @ gmail DOT com

Mama Abby said...

I, too, am so thankful to hear that the Lord has indeed been working in your marriage Chelle, and I want you to know that just as there is a "long haul" to continue in this, so there is a "long haul" for me and others to continue to pray...

Jared and I have been apart and will be for the next couple of days...we may go back over some of the days that we haven't really gotten to do.

A Stone Gatherer said...

Chelle, I have to admit I haven't started yet! It has to do with the way my mind works! Need the book, don't have the book, can't start! Don't ask, I know it's a crazy messed up mind! any Hoo, I am so happy that God is blessing you and your faithfulness! Praise God! And have a great time with that Starbucks card YEAH!!!

sailorcross said...

Oh, let's just say I'm behind and I'm trying to catch up!!

I just posted Day 14 on "The Power of Your Love".

This was a little difficult for me, especially in the case of the youngest since she lives in Texas and I'm in Pennsylvania. But, I found a way, I found a way!!

And I have to say that it was well worth the effort in all 3 children!!